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Vol.11
What is love? Part2. |
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43 years after graduation, I
recently revisited the theme of
my university days, “What is
love?”
It is probably
easier to understand if we
focus on love between a man and
a woman, rather than an
ambiguous theory of love.
“(S)he doesn’t love me” is one
of the most commonly heard
causes behind problems among
couples. However, this comment
assumes that love is a give and
take proposition, and thus is
on the wrong track from the
very start.
Generally
speaking, you see people who
love flowers and greenery, or
give a helping hand to sick
children in Africa. These
people do not think of what
they get in return from those
who they love; their love is
surely one-way. Nevertheless,
when it comes to love between a
man and woman, aspects such as
the mind, the body, and money
become intricately intertwined,
and we tend to lose sight of
the essence of love, or how
love should be.
The
cause of the confusion is that
there are many people who
erroneously think that the
“take” part of the give and
take process, in which they
require something in return
from the other person, is also
love. Requiring something in
return, or the feeling of “I
love him/her this much so I
want him/her to love me as
much,” is mostly nothing more
than your own desire.
Love and desire should be
considered as totally different
things.
Nobody blames
the flowers for not blooming
beautifully after lovingly
caring for them. On the
contrary, I think that people
tend to direct their eyes to
the lack of love towards the
flowers or knowledge regarding
cultivation on their part.
Since man is an emotional
animal, it is not easy to keep
to the principle of not
requiring anything in return
from the one you love.
Nonetheless, I think you will
be surprised to find how
brighter things become by
seeing love and desire for what
they actually are, and trimming
your desires as much as
possible. This could also
prevent unnecessary conflicts.
When a man and a
woman who do not require
anything in return become a
couple, I believe that a new
form of love that is beyond our
imagination is born.
Love is “a one-way feeling
that does not require anything
in return.” This is my
conclusion 43 years later.
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