日本語 Home
Autumn frost designates late autumn frost and denotes a severe situation for individuals unaccustomed to the cold.
Archives
2018(2)
2017(3)
2016(3)
2015(3)
2014(4)
2013(3)
2012(3)
2011(7)
2010(6)
2009(5)
2008(4)
2007
Vol.3 The Role of Family.
Vol.2 What is life all about?
Vol.1 Third Way.
Vol.3 The Role of Family.
[Prologue]
 A family of four, including two children (a son and a daughter), lived in a small house in a rural area. Both parents were healthy, unemployed, and indolent although they had two children to support. The parents received illegal welfare payments to survive and spent most of their time inebriated from noon onwards.

 The mother did not prepare cooked meals for her children but only provided them with fast food meals. The children relied on neighborhood restaurants to provide them with rice, which they brought home after school. Neighbors who saw this felt that the children’s futures would be limited.

[10 years later]
 The daughter became employed by a company and the son became a university student. The daughter wears excessive makeup, is rumored to have multiple relationships with many men, and changes her employment continuously. In contrast, the son has an aptitude for studying well and has received a university scholarship.
Would you like to hire the son? Once the son is fully employed by a company, what would be your reaction if your daughter expressed desire to marry such a man?

[General vs Specific Theory]
 Most people would publicly state that they are willing to hire this son or have him marry their daughter since the son has a good personality and he cannot be blamed for his parents’ bad behavior. However, although they may agree publicly, they often say “no” in private.
 The main issue in this case is: “To what extent does the family environment affect a child’s psychological development?” Separating this issue from the discrimination issue, I would like to discuss this matter from an objective view point.
In the process of our investigation, we sometimes find that the target of our investigation has committed a crime in the past. In the newspaper reporting of this crime, it is often commented that the suspect was raised in a wealthy, happy middle class family.
 However, when we closely investigate their family environment, the facts are different from what was reported in the newspaper. We found that most of the families were dysfunctional or on the edge of breaking up.

[Parents’ anchor children on the right track]
 Reflecting on your past, I believe that some of you have experienced nearly going off the rails or have actually left them.
Investigating tens of thousands of people’s lives, I came across a lot of very interesting cases where I found common backgrounds for those people who experienced difficult situations but could get back on the right track, and for those people who couldn’t.
 Most of the people who bounced back from the setback had strong family ties while most of the people who could not recover from their fallen circumstances had a dysfunctional family or even, in some cases, turned their back to their parents as children. If the family members develop amicable and strong ties, parents will be able to pull their children back on the right track.
 This is nothing to do with either parent’s financial resources nor their level of education. The key is to create an amicable and happy home for children.

[What is an amicable and happy home for children?]
 Family issues include overindulging children, excessive interference in children’s lives, neglecting children, failure to discipline, etc. Because of the increase of nuclear families, grand parents who have abundant life experiences have no chance to support parenting and in many cases, there is nobody to run the family with strict discipline at home. Since each family has its own way, each family’s cases should be solved within the family with their own ingenuity.
 However, there is only one universal way to create an amicable and happy home that keeps children on the right track. That is to maintain a happy marriage. This is all what we can do. Even if the parents have no money or little education, if they are happy and live a happy marriage, their children will be able to return home with ease.
End.
Masaru Sugaya

Copyright© 2016 Niccho Inc. ALL rights reserved.